Archive for April 2nd, 2013
A good feeling

For some reason lately, I’ve been having an inexplicable good feeling about my life and the future.  All of a sudden, I don’t feel like I am doomed all the time.  I feel like things are going to work out.  I feel like I can handle my life and be happy about wherever it happens to go.

I can’t really explain why I feel this way, other than to say that the fog from those initial post-partum months is beginning to lift.  Certainly, I am still very sleep-deprived.  But I know that it will pass and that one day Emery will be a good sleeper just like his brother.  I feel like we are half way there.

I don’t know where my career will go.  But I also don’t feel too worried about it at the moment.  Not worrying about it has kind of helped me feel more free to network and make connections; I feel like there is less at stake b/c I don’t really know where I am going yet!  It’s kind of liberating.

Your life can take many forms.  It doesn’t have to conform to that “dream” that you had in mind, and most likely, it won’t.  The person I was when I started down the path of behavioral neuroscience is most certainly not the person I am today.  Becoming a mother has changed me profoundly (and yes, there is neuroscience to back this up!)  What was important to me before June 22, 2008 is not necessarily the same as what is important to me now.  People change, circumstances change, limits on time and patience shift like reeds in the wind.

Having a challenging career is important to me.  Doing something quantitative and analytical is something that I need in my life.  But I can accomplish this many ways.  And I can balance it with the most important priority of my life:  raising my two awesome guys!  Working two days a week has worked out great for me.  The boys are happy, and I get two days out of the house to focus on other things.  I love the people I work with, but I loathe my boss, so I’m certain it’s a job that I’m not going to stay at for years on end.  But for now it can work.  For now it’s a good compromise.  I am reasonably happy with where I am.