I just wanted to post an update about some of Holden’s first experiences since coming home with us!  We’ve already done so much more than I thought would be possible.  As Rob mentioned in the previous post, having a baby changes things, but not really in the way that everyone seems to suggest.  I had envisioned the first few weeks home with a baby as a nightmarish experience in which I would be chained to the house, unable to leave or resume any of our normal activities.  While the first few days were definitely an adjustment period, things have really been great and have gone much better than I think either of us anticipated.  When we first came home, we were still really struggling with breastfeeding.  We still have some hurdles to overcome, but by and large we are past the worst of it.  Holden was apparently a ridiculous tongue sucker in utero and did lots of tongue thrusting when we first started to nurse him.  It took the help of two lactation consultants, many many nurses, and a breastpump to help him get to where he is now.  I know that people say that breastfeeding is natural, and when he latches on perfectly, I would have to agree with that.  Problem is, he rarely latches on perfectly.  We’ve had to do lots of training with our fingers in his mouth to push his tongue back in and down.  We started him off with finger feeding while he was still in the hospital to help him use his tongue properly and to position his lips where they should be.  We still have to use a nipple shield, but we are trying to also nurse him without it on occasion.  It’s definitely been a trial and error process, but I feel confident that he will master it one day soon and all of the effort and sleepless nights will be a distant memory.  He has already come a long way.  My advice to anyone planning on breastfeeding is to anticipate some hurdles, but not to give up when it gets tough!!!  It can be very frustrating, but within a few short weeks, you will likely be on the path to a satisfying breastfeeding relationship.  Think about any other thing you’ve had to learn—you probably lost sleep over it, and it probably took you at least a few weeks to master it.  Breastfeeding is no different!  I think about how Holden had to learn to breathe on his own just two short weeks ago—this thought alone restores my patience with the whole process because I know he has so much to learn in such a short time.

 

Enough breastfeeding talk!  Some of Holden’s notable firsts include his first bath at home, his first trip to the garden, first walk around town, first time going out to eat, and first time meeting his Oma and Grandpa Friesel.  Rob gave Holden his first bath.  Holden LOVES to get a bath.  He smiles and laughs the whole time, and when you lay him on his tummy, he will push up from his arms and lift his little head up off the counter (Here is Holden’s first bath at home, 7 days of age):

Holden has been to the garden three times already.  He sleeps the entire time we are there.  I’m sure the fresh air is good for him! Here is his first trip to the garden, at 7 days of age:

Here is Holden’s first walk around town once his Momma was feeling up to it.  Holden was 9 days old here:

Holden has been out to eat three times already!  Here is his first trip to Halvorson’s, where Momma ate a metric f-ton of veggie wraps during her second trimester.  Holden was 10 days old here:

Holden meets his Oma and Grandpa Friesel at 12 days old:

Grandad and Grandma Chess will meet Holden soon!

To round out this post of first experiences, I should also add that this is the first time I have ever blogged with a baby sleeping on my chest.  It’s kind of nice!  I still promise to do a post about our protracted time in the hospital—there’s a lot to say, but I wanted to get some pictures up of Holden first!

Papa says…: Well, today marks two weeks.  It’s certainly an interesting adventure to have an infant around the house, that’s for sure.  Most things were slightly up or down from “as expected”.  Changing the cloth diapers?  Slightly easier than expected.  Giving Holden a bottle full of breastmilk?  Slightly harder than expected.  Sleeping at night?  Slightly easier than expected.  Leaving the house to do anything or go anywhere?  Slightly harder than expected.  Actually doing that stuff once we manage to leave the house?  Slightly easier than expected.

Of course, other things were a bit farther up or down that scale.  The first two nights home?  Much harder than expected.  Every night after that?  Much easier than expected.

That said, I want to briefly address something.  The most-often-heard phrase (for me at least) of the entire pregnancy was: “This is going to change your life forever.”  (Or some variation on that phrase.)  Two weeks into it, I would like to say that I really don’t think this is true.  There.  I said it.  The moment our son was born was a beautiful, awe-inspiring moment.  But I didn’t have a sudden, overwhelming urge to vote for McCain or decide that our VW Rabbit wasn’t safe enough or that I needed to start socking away more money every month.  This is not to say that my life is exactly the same anymore.  I’m not a dummy — I realize that we have a son now and that there is some added responsibility there, etc. etc. etc.  But it’s not like we didn’t know that.  It’s not like you go through the whole pregnancy thinking Oh, my life is always going to be EXACTLY LIKE IT IS RIGHT NOW even after the baby comes.  Maybe we were just well-prepared for this in the first place.  It isn’t like we impulsively traveled to exotic locations anyway.  It isn’t like we ever cavalierly dropped a couple grand on a TV or jumped out of airplanes for fun or even had large, frequent house parties.  Having a baby in the house just doesn’t seem (to me) to be that big of a lifestyle change.  And I think that if we do it right, we can keep doing things the way that we’ve been doing them — with some minor changes to procedure and some relaxation of Papa’s otherwise tendency toward rigid scheduling — without having to feel like we have sacrificed anything.

Which is not to say that things are exactly the way they were two weeks ago.  Some of the priorities that make up the cardinal directions on my internal compass do seem a bit realigned.  Those priorities were always there, it just seems like they have perhaps shifted a bit.  Like my personal magnetic north swung around a little.  Again, this isn’t anything drastic; these are feelings I’d always had about priorities that had always been there.  They are perhaps just slightly rearranged.  Spending the past two weeks with A. & H. has given me a chance to reflect on certain things and I’m beginning to think that I might need to line up some changes to ensure that I can live in a way that matches those priorities.

Maybe that’s what people mean when they say Oh, it’ll change your life forever.  But they never say it that way.

(NOTE: If you came here looking for updates about The Boy…  Well, A. has said she’ll be making a post along those lines soon enough.)