This is my first day home by myself with Holden.  Rob had to return to work today, and boy, does his contribution to the whole childcare operation become obvious once he is no longer around to help!  It took me until noon to feed Holden, change a few diapers, give Holden a bath after peeing on himself (again), take a shower, drink a cup of coffee, and eat a bowl of cereal.  My lunch has been sitting in the microwave for an hour, awaiting an opportunity to get off the couch and get it.  Holden is a great baby—he really is.  Problem is, he does not want to be put down in a co-sleeper, boppy, or crib for even 5 seconds unless he is REALLY passed out.  He wants to be held ALL THE TIME.  He did manage to sleep for about 25 minutes, which is how I was able to sneak in a shower.  I am at least grateful for that.  We have his 2-week pediatrician appointment this afternoon.  I am curious to see how much weight he has gained.  He seems much bigger to me—he is heavier and looks much more filled out than he was at birth.  They (the pedi) mostly wants to see that he has regained his birth weight by 2 weeks, but I would not at all be surprised if he is inching up near 10 lbs. already.  He eats ALL THE TIME!  Which is great for me, because it’s making me lose weight like crazy and dang, it’s a hell of a lot easier than getting on the treadmill!  I usually pump milk in the morning so that we have a supply for going out around town (it’s hard to breastfeed in public with a baby that takes sometimes 15 minutes to latch on), or for when I just need a break and can have someone else feed him.  I have been lucky in that I have had no supply issues at all—I am so amazed at the female body’s ability to produce milk!  Holden had 4 oz. from the bottle this morning, plus he nursed for a few hours off and on all morning.  I don’t know exactly how much he is eating at this point, but I definitely am not worried about whether he is getting enough.  

Okay, so I do want to say a few things about recovery, as promised.  Most childbirth classes tend to focus on the labor and delivery part of having a child, but devote little or no time to the recovery portion of the experience.  This is a mistake for several reasons.  First, from my own experience, I spent a total of 3.5 hours in labor and delivery.  I then spent 4 days and 3 nights on the maternity ward recovering.  From my perspective, the preparation for the recovery portion of this whole experience would have been so much more relevant and important!  Due to the rapid nature of my delivery, we did not use any of our relaxation tools (massage oils, music, etc).  This isn’t to say that they aren’t useful, just that for our purposes, we didn’t end up being in a position to use them.  However, because we were in the maternity ward for so long, there are several things that ended up really coming in handy (and several which would have been helpful had we known we would have been in the hospital for so long). 

 

• Drink your water.  Drink it up.  Have a Nalgene bottle on hand and keep it filled and cold.
• Metamucil.  The hospital gave me stool softener, but trust me, you’ll appreciate the added benefit of fiber (but hopefully, you won’t have a 3rd degree tear that will necessitate this stuff).
• iPod and iPod player.  I cannot emphasize the importance of this enough.  Pre-load with relaxing music.  We kept the music on 24/7 at a low volume.  Holden was familiar with the music, so it helped soothe him and us.  Even the nurses commented on how relaxing it felt when they’d walk in the room.
• Adult diapers.  I laughed after delivery when I glanced at the woefully inadequate pads I had packed.  The hospital will provide diaper-like pads for your use, but it wouldn’t hurt to have your own on hand as well.
• Lansinoh (nipple cream).  I had to send Rob home to pick ours up.  I hadn’t packed it because I figured my nipples wouldn’t get sore within just a few days.  I was wrong.
• Nursing tanks are optional.  Frankly, you’re going to be topless for several days after you deliver anyway.  Skin-on-skin contact is a great way to get the prolactin flowing—the nursing bras and tanks can wait till you get home (unless you want to cover up for guests visiting you in the hospital).
• “Granny” underwear.  Pack underwear you don’t care about so you can just toss it when you are done.

 

 I’m sure I am forgetting some things, but that is probably the bulk of what you should bring with you for recovery.  A couple of other notes about our lengthy hospital stay:  Don’t be afraid to stay the maximum time alloted by your insurance.  You will get valuable help from the nurses and lactation consultants.  They can also take your baby to the nursery so you can get some much-needed rest.  They are your “back-up” so take advantage while you can because once you’re home, you’re on your own!  Expect the unexpected.  We would have gone home on Tuesday, but it was discovered that Holden had a touch of jaundice and required treatment under the UV lights.  Here’s our little Kosmonaut with his goggles to protect his eyes from the light:

Holden hated being in the “pod” for his treatments, but luckily he only needed it for 24 hours before his bilirubin counts were low enough to discharge him.  The day after we got home from the hospital, we had an appointment with a lactation consultant/nurse practitioner at our pedi’s office.  She weighed Holden.  He was 8 lbs, 1 oz, down 9 oz from his birth weight.  This is not atypical for babies to lose weight after birth, but the jaundice makes babies sleepy and less willing to feed.  And the less they feed, the less capable they are of riding the body of bilirubin.  The LC instructed us to feed Holden every 2 hours for 24 hours (whether he wanted to feed or not), and feed him in between those feedings if he was showing signs of hunger.  If he only fed off one breast, I was instructed to pump from the other breast and then feed him that milk from a bottle later on.  It was a VERY tough 24 hours.  I didn’t sleep.  But the next day at our appointment, Holden had gained 5 ounces!  Very respectable weight gain for only 24 hours!  The LC was pleased with this and told us to make sure he feeds once every 2-3 hours, but that there would be no need to continue to force him to eat from that point on.  Music to my ears, let me tell you!  Lactation consultants are awesome—they will help you!

Once you’re home, there are some things that are critical, including a freezer full of food:

This preparation was perhaps the most critical of all.  I am SO GLAD we had this food ready to go.  Good nutrition is really important for your recovery and for making milk.  It was so nice to just thaw some stuff and then essentially pop it in the oven before dinner time.  You don’t have to leave the house to enjoy good stuff!  If you do anything at all to prepare for the weeks following birth, do this!!!!!!  Also, big thanks to Sarah for her chili recipe.  It was absolutely delicious!

Another suggestion (and this is highly personal) is to limit your visitors within the first 2 weeks.  We had 2 good friends stop by briefly in the hospital while we were there, and then a friend came by to visit after we came home (she happened to be vacationing in VT at the time).  Grandparents waited till Holden was nearly 2 weeks old to come visit, at our insistence.  This was a smart move in my opinion.  This way, Rob was around for 2 weeks to help out with things, and now that Rob has gone back to work, my mother will be here this afternoon to help out during this next week.  It would not have made sense to have visitors descend on the house so early—I think the chaos would have been too overwhelming for us all.  Again, it’s just a personal opinion.

Okay, it’s almost 2 PM and I really should attempt to eat some lunch!

 

I just wanted to post an update about some of Holden’s first experiences since coming home with us!  We’ve already done so much more than I thought would be possible.  As Rob mentioned in the previous post, having a baby changes things, but not really in the way that everyone seems to suggest.  I had envisioned the first few weeks home with a baby as a nightmarish experience in which I would be chained to the house, unable to leave or resume any of our normal activities.  While the first few days were definitely an adjustment period, things have really been great and have gone much better than I think either of us anticipated.  When we first came home, we were still really struggling with breastfeeding.  We still have some hurdles to overcome, but by and large we are past the worst of it.  Holden was apparently a ridiculous tongue sucker in utero and did lots of tongue thrusting when we first started to nurse him.  It took the help of two lactation consultants, many many nurses, and a breastpump to help him get to where he is now.  I know that people say that breastfeeding is natural, and when he latches on perfectly, I would have to agree with that.  Problem is, he rarely latches on perfectly.  We’ve had to do lots of training with our fingers in his mouth to push his tongue back in and down.  We started him off with finger feeding while he was still in the hospital to help him use his tongue properly and to position his lips where they should be.  We still have to use a nipple shield, but we are trying to also nurse him without it on occasion.  It’s definitely been a trial and error process, but I feel confident that he will master it one day soon and all of the effort and sleepless nights will be a distant memory.  He has already come a long way.  My advice to anyone planning on breastfeeding is to anticipate some hurdles, but not to give up when it gets tough!!!  It can be very frustrating, but within a few short weeks, you will likely be on the path to a satisfying breastfeeding relationship.  Think about any other thing you’ve had to learn—you probably lost sleep over it, and it probably took you at least a few weeks to master it.  Breastfeeding is no different!  I think about how Holden had to learn to breathe on his own just two short weeks ago—this thought alone restores my patience with the whole process because I know he has so much to learn in such a short time.

 

Enough breastfeeding talk!  Some of Holden’s notable firsts include his first bath at home, his first trip to the garden, first walk around town, first time going out to eat, and first time meeting his Oma and Grandpa Friesel.  Rob gave Holden his first bath.  Holden LOVES to get a bath.  He smiles and laughs the whole time, and when you lay him on his tummy, he will push up from his arms and lift his little head up off the counter (Here is Holden’s first bath at home, 7 days of age):

Holden has been to the garden three times already.  He sleeps the entire time we are there.  I’m sure the fresh air is good for him! Here is his first trip to the garden, at 7 days of age:

Here is Holden’s first walk around town once his Momma was feeling up to it.  Holden was 9 days old here:

Holden has been out to eat three times already!  Here is his first trip to Halvorson’s, where Momma ate a metric f-ton of veggie wraps during her second trimester.  Holden was 10 days old here:

Holden meets his Oma and Grandpa Friesel at 12 days old:

Grandad and Grandma Chess will meet Holden soon!

To round out this post of first experiences, I should also add that this is the first time I have ever blogged with a baby sleeping on my chest.  It’s kind of nice!  I still promise to do a post about our protracted time in the hospital—there’s a lot to say, but I wanted to get some pictures up of Holden first!

Papa says…: Well, today marks two weeks.  It’s certainly an interesting adventure to have an infant around the house, that’s for sure.  Most things were slightly up or down from “as expected”.  Changing the cloth diapers?  Slightly easier than expected.  Giving Holden a bottle full of breastmilk?  Slightly harder than expected.  Sleeping at night?  Slightly easier than expected.  Leaving the house to do anything or go anywhere?  Slightly harder than expected.  Actually doing that stuff once we manage to leave the house?  Slightly easier than expected.

Of course, other things were a bit farther up or down that scale.  The first two nights home?  Much harder than expected.  Every night after that?  Much easier than expected.

That said, I want to briefly address something.  The most-often-heard phrase (for me at least) of the entire pregnancy was: “This is going to change your life forever.”  (Or some variation on that phrase.)  Two weeks into it, I would like to say that I really don’t think this is true.  There.  I said it.  The moment our son was born was a beautiful, awe-inspiring moment.  But I didn’t have a sudden, overwhelming urge to vote for McCain or decide that our VW Rabbit wasn’t safe enough or that I needed to start socking away more money every month.  This is not to say that my life is exactly the same anymore.  I’m not a dummy — I realize that we have a son now and that there is some added responsibility there, etc. etc. etc.  But it’s not like we didn’t know that.  It’s not like you go through the whole pregnancy thinking Oh, my life is always going to be EXACTLY LIKE IT IS RIGHT NOW even after the baby comes.  Maybe we were just well-prepared for this in the first place.  It isn’t like we impulsively traveled to exotic locations anyway.  It isn’t like we ever cavalierly dropped a couple grand on a TV or jumped out of airplanes for fun or even had large, frequent house parties.  Having a baby in the house just doesn’t seem (to me) to be that big of a lifestyle change.  And I think that if we do it right, we can keep doing things the way that we’ve been doing them — with some minor changes to procedure and some relaxation of Papa’s otherwise tendency toward rigid scheduling — without having to feel like we have sacrificed anything.

Which is not to say that things are exactly the way they were two weeks ago.  Some of the priorities that make up the cardinal directions on my internal compass do seem a bit realigned.  Those priorities were always there, it just seems like they have perhaps shifted a bit.  Like my personal magnetic north swung around a little.  Again, this isn’t anything drastic; these are feelings I’d always had about priorities that had always been there.  They are perhaps just slightly rearranged.  Spending the past two weeks with A. & H. has given me a chance to reflect on certain things and I’m beginning to think that I might need to line up some changes to ensure that I can live in a way that matches those priorities.

Maybe that’s what people mean when they say Oh, it’ll change your life forever.  But they never say it that way.

(NOTE: If you came here looking for updates about The Boy…  Well, A. has said she’ll be making a post along those lines soon enough.)