Our little (or not so little) Holden had his 4-month check-up this evening.  He weighed in at 19 lbs., 2 oz (99th percentile), 26 3/4 inches long (96th percentile).  Luckily, he doesn’t have an enormous head to match his enormous body (his head circumference was in the 51st percentile).  Developmentally he is doing great and is hitting his milestones ahead of schedule.  He got his second round of vaccinations and so far, seems to be handling them better than the first time around.

After we got back from the pediatrician appointment, we made dinner, got H changed into his PJs, read H his bedtime story, and tucked him into bed.  I then decided to check my e-mail.  I had a message from the hiring manager of the company I applied to in Boston.  She relayed that they had a surprising number of good applicants, and that they have decided to pursue an applicant with industry experience.  I am pretty bummed about this.  The only way I can really get my foot in the door and get industry experience it seems is to do a postdoc in industry.  I just really don’t want to do that though.  How long can we expect to be in a temporary living situation?  And with H, I just really want to settle somewhere for a while.  I feel like times are so tough that I can’t even afford to be picky.  There are 2 academic jobs I can apply for, but I don’t really want either of them.  I have decided I don’t want to teach.  But at the same time, if I stay out of the loop for too long, I won’t be able to get a job anywhere.  And the thought of letting all of my training go to waste makes my stomach turn.  There is still the very, very, very, small hope of my former postdoc advisor securing funding.  He has told me that the position is mine if I want it.  In many ways, that would be the very best situation for us, because the hours would be somewhat flexible and it would minimize the amount of time that H would have to be with a sitter.  So maybe that is what will happen.  Maybe it’s supposed to work out this way, and I’m destined to get the big, real job a few years down the road.  Maybe I’m supposed to learn some awesome electrophysiology….maybe I’m supposed to finish those lingering projects that didn’t quite get wrapped up before H was born….