We got the shocking and terrible news yesterday that a friend with whom Rob has worked for 6 years, was killed by a drunk driver.  Her name was Kaye, and I cannot overemphasize the extent to which she was adored by those around her.  She was warm, giving, selfless, fun, enthusiastic…you name it.  My immediate thought when R shared the news with me, was that I never told her enough how much she meant to us.  She sent us flowers when H was born, and gave H some of his first books.  She would rent out a hotel room and hold an Oscar party every year, and give out prizes to those dressed in the best costumes.  She would bring us back presents from her trips to CA (where she is from), and she was the first person with whom I ever had a discussion about bowerbirds.

The person who killed her was going over 50mph on the streets of Burlington, VT (if you’ve been here, you know how dangerous that is), and the police were in hot pursuit.  The driver blasted through 8 red lights and 2 stop signs before hitting Kaye’s car.  She was killed instantly.  The drunk driver, of course, had only minor injuries.  Prior to this, he had 4 DUIs from 3 states.

I can’t stop thinking about Kaye.  The last time I talked to her was sometime in October or November.  I was leaving R’s office (I don’t remember why), and we had a brief conversation as we both left the building.  I wish I had invited her to dinner, or had her over to our house.  I wish I had gotten to know her better, spent more time with her.  Because now we can’t.  And that sucks beyond anything I can think of right now.

So many people miss you Kaye.  Rest in peace…

A nice piece about Kaye can be found here.

December 7 – Community.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I joined a wonderful faculty/staff community at the college where I work.  I am making friends there, and I feel satisfied and fulfilled by those relationships.  I don’t want to have any more/new community experiences in 2011—I already feel overcommitted and overwhelmed by the number of people I should keep in touch with, and I don’t do nearly a good enough job keeping in contact with my close friends.  I really have all of the connections any person could ever want or need.

December 6 – Make.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Last thing I made was a pillow for H a couple of weeks ago.  I took out the sewing machine, some leftover fabric, and an assortment of spare buttons.  I finished it, but it looks like crap.  It’s currently collecting dust bunnies on top of one of the shelves in our home office.  I’d like to learn how to knit, if I had time.  I need to take a class, because I’ve found I can’t learn how to do these things from books.

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of the silly idea (delusion) that I have control over my life.  I am more OK this year with the fact that I can’t have a plan for my life…and that things that I have planned for myself might not work out, and be replaced instead, with something equally (or more) awesome than what I had intended originally.

December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I did this in a couple of different domains.  First, of course, I cultivated wonder through the lens of my 2-year-old sidekick.  Every new experience or sensation was sort of re-experienced by me through watching H grapple with the newness of everything around him.  It would be impossible to *not* cultivate a sense of wonder when you have a new soul in your midst.  Secondly, I tried to cultivate a sense of wonder in my students, and also in me, as I explored uncharted territory with my teaching, or as I familiarized myself with new ideas and concepts across my discipline (and others).  In all, though, I’d have to say that the sense of wonder cultivated through H is far more powerful and real than anything academic I’ve encountered to date.