It’s hard to believe that our little guy is now 5 months old.  This week seemed to usher in many new abilities for our ample boy.  He now sits up regularly to play with his toys (but still requires a circle of pillows to protect his head from the hardwood floors in the event of a fall):

A new and surprising talent of Holden’s is that he can hold his bottle to feed himself. He rarely gets a bottle, and in fact, the last time he had a bottle was over a month ago. I had pumped a bottle for Holden this morning so he would have food while I went out with my friend S for two hours in the afternoon for some girl shopping time. Imagine our surprise when Holden not only grabbed onto the bottle, but brought it to his mouth and started drinking from it completely on his own!

Look at how proud his Momma is! This new skill was so amazing to us because his experience with bottles has been so limited—not only did he know exactly what to do with the bottle, but he was able to flexibly apply his existing set of motor skills to a novel situation. We are so impressed!

Things have been quiet on this blog recently because I’ve been knee-deep in job application hell.  I’ve already reneged on my vow to steer clear of academic jobs.  I am indeed applying for an academic job.  It’s tenure-track and it’s in Maine.  And as I’ve poured hours into crafting a research statement, I’ve felt increasingly that I don’t have what it takes to get this job.  And I’ve found myself wondering why in the hell I’m in this field anyway.  Science was always my worst subject.  Seriously.  It’s been over a year since I’ve been fully involved in the lab; during my pregnancy I was very limited in what I could do and spent most of my time in front of the microscope, an activity that ended up going nowhere.  Because of all of that down time, I don’t have any new data to publish and I feel more and more like I’m on a raft without an oar, watching the only piece of land in sight shrink to a mere speck on the horizon.  There’s no funding to attend academic conferences, no babysitter to give me a hour to attend a seminar or two, and if my VPN access goes away, then I will be truly screwed.  In all honesty, I am very excited for this job and I am anxious about how I will come across on paper and during a talk.  And if I get the job, I will continue to be anxious because I do not like to disappoint.  I’ve asked virtually everyone I know to review my statement of teaching philosophy, my cover letter, and my research proposal.  I’ve gotten some stellar advice.  I still can’t shake that feeling that I won’t be good enough, especially as I pour through the literature and realize that I truly have gotten behind ALREADY.  I’ve only been out of work a few months.  

I’m going to change the subject now because, in spite of the immense stress of job-hunting while taking care of H, I had a happy end to the day today.  Generally speaking, this past week has been a whiny one for H.  I believe his gums are bothering him, and he is unhappy laying on his back.  But he hasn’t been able to sit up on his own either.  And it’s unreasonable for me to keep him propped up with my hands for hours on end.  On Monday, we had the pleasure of meeting our friend’s new little baby, 5-week old Maddie:

Isn’t she sweet?!  While there, H got to try out Maddie’s Bumbo seat:

I wanted to see how he would like it, as it had the potential of solving all of our sitting problems.  Well, guess what?  It’s hard to tell from the photo, but HIS THIGHS ARE TOO FAT FOR THE BUMBO!!!  When I went to pick him up out of it, the Bumbo seat was stuck to his butt because he was wedged in there so tightly.  Although the Bumbo seat is awesome, it’s not going to work for our full-figured man.  He is getting too big for so many of his gadgets, yet developmentally he could still really benefit from them.  So I told him that he needed to learn to sit on his own because he is miserable laying on his back and he is too fat for the little baby seats.  What other choice does he have?  

Up to this point, H would sit unassisted for mere seconds before toppling over unapologetically.  But I suppose suffering the indignity of having your large infant ass get stuck in a Bumbo seat served as motivation for him to get with the sitting.  Today when we practiced sitting, he demonstrated much better control for longer periods of time than ever before.  Moreover, he would perform self-corrective movements to maintain his posture, which is something I’d never seen him do.  He would also put a hand on the floor to brace himself and prevent himself from falling over.  As the day wore on, he would sit for longer and longer, while trying to flip through the pages of one of his books (it’s no Being and Time, but still):

Here he is surrounded by pillows to cushion the occasional fall¹:

But he still detests tummy time:

And still does not roll from tummy-to-back. 

 

1.  Falls are typically preceded by the following series of events:  (1) the cat struts casually past H; (2) H follows the cat with his gaze; (3) H turns his head as the cat casually leaves H’s field of view; (4) H attempts to look over his shoulder at the cat who is now behind him; (5) H falls over backwards; (6) cat runs away anxiously as if he didn’t know that was going to happen (although he totally did).

Win 20 Pairs of Baby Leg Warmers from babySNAZZ!

Now that I’m feeling better again, I figured I’d pop on and give some updates about our not-so-petite sir.  Since last Thursday, he has been rolling over from back to tummy, but is still stymied by the tummy-to-back roll.  I have gone into his room at night to scoop him up after hearing his muffled cries, only to find him face down on his mattress, unable to right himself.  Stoli, who has recently begun sleeping in the crib with Holden, looks on with indifference.  Here are Holden and Stoli, united in feline-infant solidarity:

Note the beautiful blanket that was made by our dear friend Sarah.  It’s been keeping Holden toasty and warm at night, thank you!

Holden is getting grabby.  With almost everything.  We have to watch our dinner plates and our hot cups of coffee as Holden seems to be especially interested in things that we are eating or drinking.  I’d like to wait another month before we begin solids, although he is beginning to manifest all of the hallmark attributes of an infant gearing up for real food.  He still isn’t sitting up on his own and I would like him to be able to do that before we begin solids in earnest.  He is currently in a transitional stage with sitting; he doesn’t enjoy laying down on the floor and would prefer to be propped up where he can see more of the action.  He can sit unassisted for VERY brief periods of time before he simply topples over.  Holden is babbling more and more and is using new phonemes all the time.  “Ahb” is his new favorite sound.  As in “Ahb-ahb-ahb-ahb…..”  He is also beginning to try turning the pages of his books when I read to him.  More typically though, he is simply trying to grasp the page well enough to pry it from my hands so he can chew on the pages.  I try to have him “assist” me with turning the pages, so that he can get some more practice with that type of eye-hand coordination.  And I’ve also noticed that since I’ve begun to feel better, he seems like a happier baby, as if my moods and feelings are contagious only to him.  Indeed, he seemed to have picked up on my listless reading of “Surprise Surprise” and feigned enthusiasm while playing with him.  Holden has also been nursing more often lately, a signal that he is likely going through another growth spurt.  He seems to be nursing every hour again at times, and up to 3 or sometimes 4 times each night.  He has gone through phases like this before, so I am relieved to know that this probably won’t even last a week.  He is wearing mostly 12-month outfits now, and has graduated from his small diaper covers.  I recently ordered him several new diaper covers from Bummis.  Originally, I was going to replace the smaller Imse Vimse covers with larger ones because they are very cost-effective and contain messes pretty well.  But then I realized that although the Bummis are a few bucks extra per cover, I would save more money in the long run by purchasing them because Holden can wear them until he reaches 30 lbs., whereas the Imse Vimse covers would only be good for up to 26 lb.  Ah, the economics of diapering your baby….

Here is Holden modeling one of his new Bummis diaper covers.  I know he’s a boy, but I couldn’t resist getting him a diaper cover with flowers on it, a move that may engender resentment and embarrassment should I ever show this picture to any of his future girlfriends:

Other notable events of the past week (besides the election, which will eventually receive its own post) included the celebration of Rob’s birthday.  Rob’s brother Steve and our good friends A & S came over for lamb dinner.  A & S supplied us with their signature cheesy polenta dish.  The capstone experience of the birthday celebration was my amazing completely homemade pineapple-upside down cake:

I know there are 3 candles pictured here, but that really doesn’t mean anything.  There are only 3 candles here because that’s all we had left.  Rob didn’t turn a multiple of three or anything like that.  In fact, I think he is in prime number territory for this current trip around the sun…

In other news, I am completely in my old clothes again.  And because my old clothes suck, I decided to reward myself by buying new ones.  I have many, many shirts and sweaters that fit one of two categories:  large, amorphous pieces of fabric shaped like a torso with tubes resembling sleeves, and very, very short form-fitting shirts that ride up my back and expose a 2-inch swath of skin between the top of my pants and the bottom of my shirt, which drives me absolutely crazy when it is 2 degrees outside.  I took Holden shopping with me this week, which luckily for me, he finds to be an agreeable activity.  We seek out the handicapped-accessible dressing rooms where I can comfortably sidle the stroller next to the dressing room mirror, providing Holden the perfect opportunity to smile uncontrollably at that handsome baby returning his grin in the mirror.  I purchased a couple pairs of pants, three sweaters, and lots of socks.  I got a great deal on everything too, as my inner bargain-hunter went into overdrive.  I still haven’t weighed myself since August, but for me, getting my weight down to a certain number was unimportant.  I just wanted to be roughly the same size as I was before I got pregnant, with a return of my former energy and flexibility.  I think I have finally met that goal.

I need to take a break from blogging, and well, everything for a bit until I get on my feet again.  I have been so unbelievably sick for over a week now.  I have a lot to say about the election, but because of its tremendous importance, I wanted to wait until I have the energy to craft a coherent post.  In the meantime, I have applied for two more jobs this week.  One was for a freelance writing job, for which I’ve already been turned down (admittedly, that one was a stretch).  The other is a scientific position with a company right outside of Philly.  Rob and I joked that we’d consider moving to PA now that it’s gone blue:)  Actually, the blue state/red state break-down has nothing to do with our decisions, but it’s fun to joke about it anyway.  Now that those job apps are out of the way, I need to focus on getting better.  I went to the doctor yesterday and he told me it needs to go away on its own, and that it would probably take a couple weeks.  Ugh.  In the meantime, I’m in seriously miserable territory trying to recover while also taking care of H.  And yesterday was Rob’s birthday—I ran myself ragged getting his birthday dinner together, but in the end, I pulled it off.  Hey, he deserves it.  Happy Birthday Papa!  I’ll tune in again when I’m feeling better.  Till then, peace!