of the election is coming through our Internetz!  No need for TV on this occasion!  And there are no commercials!  I am going to tempt fate and ditch the hot tea in favor of an alcoholic beverage…

This has been a less than stellar week.  I am hoping that the election makes up for it.

On Friday, I missed a talk at the university that I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to go to, because I couldn’t find a babysitter.  The talk was relevant to some of the research I have done in the past, and I was very curious to see what sort of data the speaker was going to present.  In addition, we ended up bagging our Halloween plans at the last minute.  We had initially planned to go to a party hosted by one of Rob’s co-workers.  I had been looking forward to it all week, as I left the house only 3 times between Monday and Thursday—once to drop Rob off at work, once for H’s appt, and once for dinner at A & S’s.  H had not been feeling well all week and needed the rest, so we just stayed home for the majority of the week.  Of course, I was going a little nuts being cooped up in the house.  I actually welcomed the opportunity to do a survey over the phone just so I’d have someone to talk to, and then 7 minutes into the survey, realized what a stupid idea that was.  On Friday after I applied for the Delaware job, we went for an impromptu walk to Viva Espresso to meet our buddy Sarah and her little boy, Harper, for coffee.  On the way there, I was stopped by the local news for an interview about magnet schools.  I provided what I considered to be a cogent and well-articulated response to the reporter’s question, but I ended up not being included in the final news story—instead, they aired interviews with two moms who were like, “I don’t really know anything about it, but I guess I’m for it…”  Yeah.  After the moot news interview, we went on our little coffee date, and as I sat there drinking a latte (which I allowed myself only because we came in well under our grocery/lunch/coffee budget of $100 for the week), I started to feel sick.  My throat felt sore, my body ached, and I just wanted to take a nap.  Uh oh.  I mean, didn’t I just get over this thing a few weeks ago?  There was a time when I would go YEARS without getting so much as a sore throat or sniffle, and now I’m sick twice in the span of a month.  I guess it goes with having a little infant around.  We seem to be passing the same mild cold back and forth.  So, we bagged our Halloween plans.  Instead, we watched an episode of Firefly and drank homemade hot tea.  Saturday night was no better.  After a lame day of doing nothing, we watched The Crow (OMG, that movie is *so* dated now), ate popcorn, and drank more homemade hot tea.  Sunday included chores and living vicariously through other people’s Halloween pictures on Flickr, browsing the sets of Sarah Palin look-alikes accessorized with the not-so-subtle political commentary that is a hunting rifle and some guy dressed up like a bear.  I miss Halloween.  I missed it last year because I was too busy gagging over the smell of my clothes, my own skin, and any food we had in the house (gotta love morning sickness that lasts all day).  The year before that I was too busy with work to really do anything for Halloween.  And forget celebrating it when you are in graduate school—with the exception of the very fun “Welcome to Hell!” party that was hosted by one of my graduate school chums (I believe in 2003).  Halloween is a great holiday, actually the BEST holiday, because everyone can participate.  And you can become whoever or whatever you want for a day.  You can escape the depressing reality that our economy is weak and unemployment is high.  You can escape the three-ring circus that has been the presidential campaign.  You can take a shower, brush your teeth, and comb your hair.  You can probably glean why I would be disappointed to miss the night out.  

This morning we walked up to the local elementary school and voted, an excursion that was too brief, but was rejuvenating nonetheless.  Everyone was smiling and hopeful, except for the crazy “Nader Lives” guy who was parading his “Arrest Obama” signage.  When I got home, my throat started throbbing even more.  I made some homemade hot tea, checked my e-mail, and found that my manuscript was rejected by the journal before it was even sent out for review.  Apparently, the editors didn’t think it was suitable for the journal.  So now it’s time to send it elsewhere.  I am also halfway through the application process for a crappy part-time job as “Scientific Editor” which is a glorified title for the person who painstakingly corrects the broken English of Japanese scientists.  Applicants were reminded in the “editing sample” portion of the application that evaluating the  “scientific merit is another question and is not your job.”  How depressing.  Apparently I am now applying for jobs that don’t require my scientific input, and probably only require a course in medical terminology at the local community college.  On top of being sick, I am feeling down about my job prospects.  I know that things will turn around, but sometimes it’s hard to keep things in perspective.  To end this post with a positive note, I will say that one of the best things that happened in the past 7 days, was that I finally got to pack away my maternity pants.  I now fit into almost all of my pre-pregnancy clothes (some are still a bit tight).  This makes me feel like I am making progress in at least one facet of my life.  Oh, and the other positive thing, is that (thanks to Brooke and her recommendations on free knitting videos), I can finally cast on.  Yes, I just admitted that I have spent hours learning how to cast on.  How can it be that I have no trouble putting in sutures, but I can’t knit to save my life?  Hopefully these positives will be eclipsed in awesomeness by some decisive election results….I don’t think I’ve ever wished I had a television in my home so much in my life….

H has had a rough 24 hours.  Teething, on top of vaccinations, on top of a recently acquired cold have left him a little cranky, tired, and fidgety.  Last night I decided to fold out the sofa bed in the living room and bring H with me so that his crying wouldn’t disturb Rob.  He had a fever of 100 degrees today, so I gave him some Tylenol.  He ended up sleeping most of the day.  During the few hours he was actually awake, I made sure to cut back on a lot of the activities with which we usually entertain ourselves.  I propped H up in the big red chair and entertained him by dancing around the living room, which served the dual purpose of making him smile and giving me a little exercise.  One of his naps was so long that I actually had time to take out the knitting that I have wanted to tackle for so long.  I bought a “Learn to Knit Kit” over 2 years ago, and hadn’t had the time until now to really delve into it.  I figured with my manuscript submitted and the possibility of the Boston job behind me, I should just spend my “free” time doing something fun for a change.  I haven’t gotten far, but I plan to work on the knitting more tonight.  

This morning I had really come to terms with the news I got yesterday about the Boston job.  I really felt in my heart that it happened for a reason and that better opportunities are around the corner.  I started to feel good about spending the winter here in VT and above all, having more time with H.  I began to think that maybe I should just bag the job search during November and December.  Aside from those months being chock full of major holidays, I realized that I’ve spent nearly all of my non-paid maternity leave working on stuff.  And I decided it was time to have a couple of months where H and I could just hang out and I wouldn’t have to worry about fitting in time to write, read journal articles, do lit searches, or prepare my CV.  Of course, I did a little searching again tonight for kicks, and uncovered another industry job, this time in Delaware.  I have to say, I’m not a fan of Delaware, but I’ve decided to apply for this job anyway.  The job ad was not written with nearly the same level of clarity or specificity as the job ad for the Boston job, but from what I can glean, it seems like it could be a good match.  And actually, from what I know about this Delaware company, the disease areas are a better fit with my previous experience.  

I speak too soon about a lot of things…

Our little (or not so little) Holden had his 4-month check-up this evening.  He weighed in at 19 lbs., 2 oz (99th percentile), 26 3/4 inches long (96th percentile).  Luckily, he doesn’t have an enormous head to match his enormous body (his head circumference was in the 51st percentile).  Developmentally he is doing great and is hitting his milestones ahead of schedule.  He got his second round of vaccinations and so far, seems to be handling them better than the first time around.

After we got back from the pediatrician appointment, we made dinner, got H changed into his PJs, read H his bedtime story, and tucked him into bed.  I then decided to check my e-mail.  I had a message from the hiring manager of the company I applied to in Boston.  She relayed that they had a surprising number of good applicants, and that they have decided to pursue an applicant with industry experience.  I am pretty bummed about this.  The only way I can really get my foot in the door and get industry experience it seems is to do a postdoc in industry.  I just really don’t want to do that though.  How long can we expect to be in a temporary living situation?  And with H, I just really want to settle somewhere for a while.  I feel like times are so tough that I can’t even afford to be picky.  There are 2 academic jobs I can apply for, but I don’t really want either of them.  I have decided I don’t want to teach.  But at the same time, if I stay out of the loop for too long, I won’t be able to get a job anywhere.  And the thought of letting all of my training go to waste makes my stomach turn.  There is still the very, very, very, small hope of my former postdoc advisor securing funding.  He has told me that the position is mine if I want it.  In many ways, that would be the very best situation for us, because the hours would be somewhat flexible and it would minimize the amount of time that H would have to be with a sitter.  So maybe that is what will happen.  Maybe it’s supposed to work out this way, and I’m destined to get the big, real job a few years down the road.  Maybe I’m supposed to learn some awesome electrophysiology….maybe I’m supposed to finish those lingering projects that didn’t quite get wrapped up before H was born….

Ahh….I love Sunday mornings.  I feel oddly well-rested despite the fact that I set my alarm for every 2 hours all night long to re-apply eye ointment, woke up a handful of times due to eye pain, and had to nurse H at 3:30AM.  My task today is to see what I can do to elevate endogenous estrogen…I really think that’s the culprit.

On Friday we had another very enjoyable playdate with my new pal Susan and her little one Ella.  The babies are only a week apart, and are just now starting to be aware of each other when we get together.  They took a little nap together:

Looked lovingly (and skeptically) at one another:

Posed for the camera like good little babies:

And modeled their first-ever Halloween costumes:

Yesterday we ran assorted errands in the rain while today (because it’s nice and sunny out) we will focus on having fun.  I just baked some “Morning Glory Muffins” with shredded carrot (from the garden) and apple.  Yum.  We’ll probably take a stroll around town once H wakes up from his morning nap.  And if I’m lucky, I’ll work on my job talk and hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes.   A perfect Sunday.  

The other project I have for today is to do some grocery planning for the week.  I usually just wing my grocery purchases and never pay attention to how much I spend.  I have always figured that we have to eat, so why bother meditating too deeply on that part of the budget.  I cook pretty much everything from scratch and hardly ever buy prepared foods.  But I have now presented myself with a challenge.  I’m going to try to budget only $100 a week for groceries, including any lunches or coffees that Rob or I happen to get during the week.  Part of this is motivated by my desire to lose some weight.  My first step in getting a bit healthier (and saving some $$$) is to 1) limit desserts and alcohol to the weekends, and 2) eat more vegetarian meals.  Last night I made a casserole of baked butternut squash, VT breakfast sausage, tart green apple, and sage.  Tonight I’m doing a creamy tomato ravioli with carrots from the garden and homemade french bread.  I still have to plan out the rest of the week, but I see some homemade curry and hearty soups in our immediate future.  Mmmmm.  This plan should work well for us, as Rob’s compulsive need to establish and graph goals of various kinds is really rubbing off on me.

I’m off to eat some homemade muffins!