Time is flying.  I’m up 23 lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight (I finally gained something over the past 2 weeks!)  I’m also measuring right at 31 weeks, so no worries about growth.  Baby’s heartbeat was, again, hard to keep track of because he moves around so much.  My blood pressure is good.  The only thing that is not good (again) is my urine.  There’s still bacteria there.  I’m about to start my 3rd course of antibiotics for this pregnancy.  There’s really no choice—the type of bacteria that they are finding would not be a concern at all in a non-pregnant person, but apparently it’s a huge problem for pregnant women.  If left untreated, the bacteria can cause problems with your kidneys and it could lead to preterm labor—so like I said, there’s not really any choice about treating it.  The scary part is that I am COMPLETELY asymptomatic.  I have had UTIs before and have been very aware when I was having one, but with these, I feel nothing out of the ordinary.  So the only way they know I have this problem is by having me go to the lab to provide urine samples pretty regularly.  I have yet another week of antibiotics, and then I get my urine re-tested.  I’m hoping that this latest round of medication does the trick.

On a happier note, the nursery is done!  I don’t have pictures to post yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll stick them up here for all to see.  Holden made a beautiful painting that is the centerpiece of the room.  I let him pick out the colors himself (I let him choose 3 colors), and he opted for yellow, brown, and green.  It turned out really well!  His painting was astronomically-themed, with little comets, planets, and of course, explosions.  It’s very cool.  I made my own art for one wall, using foam shapes and decorative paper (you’ll have to see it to appreciate it!)  There are other details that I will share once I’ve snapped some pictures to share.

Tomorrow:  Work (not sure how this will pan out, since my whole lab is going to a research forum on campus and I am not, and I STILL don’t have a key to my office—argh).  After work, Holden’s best friend will come over for veggie mac and cheese dinner, and they will be bringing dessert.  Should be fun!

Posted some of these back in July; here’s more of the wacky and wonderful things that the H-bomb has said:

• “Why does that fish have EYELASHES?”
• H.: “Do we live on Earth?” / A.: “Yes.” / H.: “Is Earth in outer space?” / A.: “Well, yes.” / H.: “So *we* live in outer space!?”
• H.: “I want to be a daddy.” / A.: “What makes you want to be a daddy?” / H. (points at R.): “Him.”
• At Sweetwater’s: “Do you think they have a lost and found for butts?”
• H-bomb (holding bowl): “Here’s your dinner Mommy.” / A.: “Oh thanks Holden. What is it?” / H.: “CARRION!”
• Upon receiving his first 50¢ allowance: H.: “Yay! Can I put it in my hippo bank?” / A.: “Yes, of course. And you can save it up and when you have enough, you can buy yourself a treat–a snack or a toy.” / H.: “Can I donate it?”
• “The Magic Juice Box has a bubble that sucks the blood into their brains. And then we inspect it.”
• H-bomb: “FIRE FLAMES!” (point to the sky and make an explosion/burning noise)
• While referring to Diplodocus: “He’s a Dippy Dickless!”
• H.: “Mommy there are two Waurens in my class!” / A.: “Warrens?” / H.: “No! Wauren!” [Lauren]
• Upon inspecting one of his own poops: “It’s as big as a trumpet!”
• “The opposite of Hong Kong is dot-com.”
• While gently petting the rabbit: “We don’t have any predators in our house, sweetheart. Only dinosaurs.”
• Holden on swearing: “Mommy, you can’t say stupid. You can’t say crap. And you can’t say frickin’ bananas.”

Here’s our little guy, grinning away at 27w3d:

Since almost the beginning of this pregnancy, I’ve been feeling a bit of fear about labor.  It seems silly to be scared now, because I felt significantly less fear and apprehension prior to my first labor experience.  But after going through a very rapid and intense labor with Holden, followed by a protracted and difficult recovery, I’m finding that I really need to deal with my fears, and soon.

I wrote about Holden’s birth back in June 2008, but I never really talked much about my recovery after his birth.  Holden’s labor and delivery was rapid—he was born after only 6 hours of labor.  I never had any signs of early labor, and when my labor finally started, the contractions were a minute apart from the get-go.  I felt like I had no time to “ease myself” into the rhythm of labor, and by the time I got to the hospital (only a couple hours after labor had started), I was at 8 cm.  My labor basically started in the transition phase, and as labor progressed, the contractions just seemed to stack themselves closer and closer together, to the point that there was essentially no break between them.  I don’t think I mentioned this in my birth story, but I distinctly remember laboring in the tub at the hospital, and having an excruciating pain in my right hip (very low down), that would persist between each contraction.  The pain in my right hip was almost worse than the actual contractions.  I recall mentioning this to my midwife, and her replying very casually, “Oh, that’s just his shoulder.”  It wasn’t until after Holden was born, that I learned that he was in an asynclitic presentation, meaning that his head was tilted to the side, like this:

Do you see the position of the baby’s shoulder?  That’s EXACTLY why I was feeling pain in my hip.  My midwife knew he was asynclitic, based on her experience and how things were going with my labor, and she did everything in her power to get him into a better presentation for delivery.  I remember pushing and pushing and pushing, with my contractions coming one on top of the other, with seemingly no progress for quite some time.  Rob said he could see part of H’s head, but it just wouldn’t budge any further (being sideways makes things difficult!)  When it came down to those final moments after an exhausting 2-hour stint of pushing, my midwife had to do an episiotomy because H’s heart rate was decelerating, and I just couldn’t seem to get enough space for him to come out, no matter how hard I tried.  It’s not common practice for our midwife group to perform episiotomies, but given the circumstances, that was the only way to get Holden’s little sideways head out of my body.  My midwife seemed almost haunted by what she had to do, and I didn’t even know I had an episiotomy until after Holden was born. I had a 3rd degree tear that required lots of stitches, and LOTS and LOTS of recovery.   The initial weeks were very difficult, but one thing I haven’t mentioned here before is that the tear took a full TWO YEARS to completely heal.  It was two years before um, relations, were tolerable again.  That’s a long time.  I am lucky that things are healed up now, and my midwife says it looks good—no scar tissue, not even any real evidence that I had such a massive tear.  My fear about my labor this time is that I will have another asynclitic baby and will have another horrific tear.  I know that having one asynclitic presentation isn’t predictive of having subsequent asynclitic presentations, but the rough recovery that I had with Holden is enough to instill fears that I didn’t have the first time around.

I believe that my midwife had no choice.  I don’t blame her for what she had to do, and of course, I feel enormous gratitude that she was able to get Holden out alive and healthy.  I’m grateful she got him out without the aid of forceps, vacuum, or c-section.  I don’t think that my birth experience was awful or traumatic, and I don’t think that my episiotomy and tear were avoidable.  But I do feel some fear about tearing again—I have fear about having another two-year recovery period and I feel fear about long-term pain.  These next few weeks are going to be about getting past this fear so I can have a labor and delivery experience that I can feel good about.

More on asynclitic presentations can be found here.

At 27 weeks, I had an ultrasound to check on the location of my placenta.  The news is good—my placenta is out of the way, and I can proceed with plans for a natural birth.  The absolute best part of this particular ultrasound for me was the fact that our little guy was SMILING.  He had one arm tucked up under his head and a leg up by his forehead, and a HUGE grin on his face!  We got a few screenshots of his beaming face, which we will no doubt have to post.  They estimated his weight to be around 2 lbs., 8 oz.  He is an active little bugger, which the midwives comment on during every appointment since it’s so hard to maintain his heartbeat with the doppler.  He does seem to be constantly wiggling around, which I hope is not foreshadowing for hyperactivity.

I’m now at 29 weeks.  Since my 27 week appointment, I haven’t gained any weight (I’m still up 20 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight), and my fundal height hasn’t changed.  I’m still measuring 27 weeks even though I am 29 weeks along.  The midwife explained that it’s probably because his head is down and he is engaging in my pelvis already—his position may be “throwing off” the numbers.  Engaging in my pelvis already??!  I’m not ready for this!  I also got my pre-registration packet and birthing center questionnaire for my hospital stay.  Already??!!!  Really??!!  Didn’t I just find out I’m pregnant?  And now all of a sudden I only have 11 weeks give or take, before he gets here?!  Shit.  I’m also starting to get Braxton Hicks, and I’m starting to feel pressure when squatting or otherwise kneeling down towards the ground.  I’m wondering if I’ll dilate and efface early like I did with Holden.  With H, I walked around at 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and 0 station for about a month before he was actually born.  I remember my last midwife appointment with Holden I was at 4 cm, and I was convinced he was just going to drop out of me at any moment.  Now of course, it didn’t actually go down that way!  But I *was* very uncomfortable and felt pressure almost all the time during the last 4-6 weeks before he was delivered.  But then I got lucky and had a fast 6 hour labor.  So I wonder if things will go similarly this time around.

We’ve picked a name (we’re 95% sure of it), and Holden has even finally come around to it.  He vehemently protested our choice at first, but he seems to be embracing it at this point.  I’ve been trying to focus on spending some quality time with H while it’s still just the two of us.  Things won’t be the same once his brother gets here, and I want to soak up all of our fun Mommy-Holden dates to the aquarium, library, etc.  Last week he had his final ENT appointment, and was released from his care for good!  The ENT said his ears look great, and he shouldn’t have any further problems.  I treated H to a day out on the town after his happy appointment.  We went to the mall, walked Church Street Marketplace, bought him a new reading lamp for his bedroom, bought him a book from our favorite used bookstore, and had a leisurely lunch.  He is my little buddy, and I am sure going to miss our special times together.  I can’t believe he’ll be a couple months shy of his 4th birthday when his brother gets here.  ACK!  You know what all of this means??  It means I am growing up and getting older, too.  I. can’t. deal.  Just kidding.  I’ll get over it.

Today:  Read some articles for work.  Eat grilled cheese with Holden, made with yummy, honey whole wheat bread from Great Harvest Bread Company.  Clean out baby’s closet because it is a hot mess in there.  Drink hot chocolate.  Make lasagna rolls for dinner.  Eat more yummy bread.

Tomorrow:  More jury duty:(